The Inner Battle: What’s Really Driving You?
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes feel like there’s a battle raging inside you? One part of you wants to eat the salad, while another screams for pizza. Or you have big dreams, but somehow Netflix wins every time.
These struggles aren’t random—they’re the result of a clash between your three sub-brains: the lizard, the mammal, and the human.
Each of these “brains” has its own agenda. The lizard brain is all about survival and comfort, the mammal seeks connection and emotional safety, and the human strives for reason and long-term goals. Most of the time, they’re not on the same page.
Recognizing their constant push-and-pull is the first step toward gaining control over your inner chaos.
Sound complicated? It is. But it’s also the key to understanding yourself—and mastering the life you want to live. Stick with me, and I’ll break it down, stage by stage.
Let’s start with a question: Have you ever caught yourself sabotaging your own growth? If so, you’re already on the path to awareness—and that’s where real change begins.
The Foundation of Awareness
Building awareness of how the three sub-brains communicate is the foundation for understanding ourselves and gaining mastery over our inner chaos.
Each sub-brain—lizard, mammal, and human—has its own role and often sends conflicting messages. For example, the lizard brain may crave immediate safety or pleasure, while the human brain knows we should focus on long-term goals.
Recognizing these clashes is the first step to aligning them. Only by understanding this interplay can we start reclaiming control and working toward true wisdom.
This is easier said than done.
My Ongoing Journey
In the previous post, I gave a detailed description of the three sub-brains. Feel free to revisit it if you need a refresher.
For me, becoming aware of the chaos in my mind is an ongoing process—and honestly, I don’t think it ever truly ends.
I’ve struggled with procrastination, fear of presenting, fear of rejection, fear of failure—you name it. And just when I think I’ve conquered something, new challenges pop up.
It’s frustrating but also fascinating.
A Real-Life Example
The other day, during my dance class, a local TV station showed up to film a piece about the club’s upcoming 40th anniversary.
They asked if I’d do a short interview—camera, microphone, the whole deal. I froze on the spot.
My lizard brain kicked in, sounding every alarm bell.
My mammal brain jumped in, attaching anxiety to the situation, making me feel deeply uncomfortable.
And, as usual, my human brain stepped in to justify why I should say no:
“I’m sweating from dancing; I can’t go on camera like this.”
“My hair looks like a disaster; people will judge me.”
“I’m not experienced enough—someone else would do this better.”
Excuses. All of it.
Thankfully, my awareness kicked in. I caught myself making up reasons to avoid something I was just scared of. So, I said yes.
I did the interview. And guess what? It went fine.
These clashes between the sub-brains fascinate me. They’re everywhere, all the time. And I’m sure I’ll keep encountering them as I go.
The question is: are you aware of your own inner chaos? Recognizing it is a great step towards understanding yourself.
Awareness as the Key to Mastery
Here’s something worth repeating: awareness comes from the human brain.
It’s the human brain that notices what the other two are up to, names the urges and feelings, and decides to act differently despite them.
That’s the game when it comes to self-mastery.
So let me talk directly to your human brain: I’ve identified six stages of awareness, and I hope they help you pinpoint where you are and what you can work toward.
The Six Stages of Awareness
1. Zero Awareness
Think of infants. Their behavior is pure instinct and emotion. They don’t think; they just are.
2. Recognizing Physical Urges
Small children learn that a rumbling stomach means hunger, that drooping eyelids mean sleep, or that tension in the bladder means they need to pee.Most adults have mastered this—though not all, as exceptions exist.But survival urges? That’s where it gets tricky. Anxiety, discomfort, craving junk food, skipping workouts because your brain wants to conserve energy—this is where most of our problems begin.Growing awareness here is huge, and most of us could dig deeper.
3. Recognizing and Naming Emotions
“I’m crying, so I must feel sad.” “I don’t want to give this presentation because I’m scared.”We teach this to kids, but let’s not kid ourselves—adults struggle too.Many of us don’t acknowledge our emotions or take responsibility for them. Instead, we blame others or suppress what we feel. Think of the man who lashes out but denies being angry or the person who believes “men shouldn’t cry.”This stage gets messy fast. Some people recognize sadness or frustration but can’t admit to anger, envy, or jealousy.I like to think I’m good at spotting my emotions, but even I get blindsided. Humility is essential here.
4. Spotting the Stories We Tell Ourselves
People lie to themselves constantly—I do, you do, we all do.A guy afraid of public speaking might call in sick to avoid it, telling himself it’s for the best. But awareness lets him see through the excuses.He realizes presenting isn’t the end of the world, though he might not be ready to act on that insight yet. That comes next.Being radically honest with yourself is brutal. It shatters your worldview and hurts like hell. I still find layers of bullshit in myself—more than I’m comfortable admitting.The deeper I dig, the more I find. It’s not pretty, but it’s necessary.
5. Acting Despite the Battle in Your Mind
Asking the cute girl out even though you’re scared of rejection. Giving the presentation despite your fear. Going to the gym when every part of you wants to stay home.Mastering this stage is where real growth happens. It’s not about suppressing urges or ignoring emotions but acting despite them.This is ridiculously hard because your lizard and mammal brains are in control most of the time, but it’s doable.Nelson Mandela summed it up perfectly:
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”This is the stage I find myself in often, and it’s where I believe most people can gain life-changing value.
6. Awareness and Action as Second Nature
The final stage is when awareness and action become second nature. You feel the urge, recognize it instantly, and act anyway—without hesitation.This is where growth becomes exponential. The great achievers—intellectuals, entrepreneurs, athletes, leaders—live in this stage.It’s not magic. They just take actions others avoid, and they do it consistently.
Join Me on the Journey
This is the stage I’m aiming for. Action as the default, regardless of my feelings or urges.
It’s a tall order, but it’s where the magic happens.
You’re welcome to join me.
